


This love of ours

by Frantasticfranta



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/F, I Love You, Kind of an AU but kind of not, Or Is It?, Unrequited Love, Young Love, hehe, idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2018-08-23 05:06:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8314990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frantasticfranta/pseuds/Frantasticfranta
Summary: "I love you" you say with a shaking voice,  you've been saying it for years. Each time meaning it more than the last, meaning it in a different way than she does, because your Maya Hart and you cant let yourself be happy.You've been trying to tell her how you've felt about her for weeks now, you've said those 3 words that used to terrify you more times in the past month than in the entirety of your friendship.But she still doesn't understand.





	

"I love you" you say with a shaking voice, you've been saying it for years. Each time meaning it more than the last, meaning it in a different way than she does, because your Maya Hart and you cant let yourself be happy.  
You've been trying to tell her how you've felt about her for weeks now, you've said those 3 words that used to terrify you more times in the past month than in the entirety of your friendship.

But she still doesn't understand.

~

It took you years to finally say those 3 little words to her, unlike Riley who told you she loved you a week after you first met in kindergarten.

~

It was a particularly muggy day outside, a rarity for October in New York, you and Riley were currently playing make believe on the playground, when stupid Tommy Flanagan started marching up to you two.  
It wasn't really a secret he was the kindergarten bully but until today he had left Riley alone, it was probably safe to say you hated Tommy Flanagan, the only problem was you didn't know why but you were sure there was a good reason.

And then he did it, the thing that made you hate him, he told Riley to "ditch the dumb blonde" and come play with him by the swings, Riley looked at him like he had just said the worst curse word she could think of, her mouth hung slightly agape before she recomposed herself and in true Riley Matthews fashion replied with a short polite "no thank you."

  
Apparently Tommy didn't accept this as a good enough answer, and continued to pester her, "Hey! It wasn't a question!" he was closer now and his face looked like a tomato, but Riley just continued to ignore him, you actually kind of admired her right now if it were you in this situation you probably would have already punched him by now but Riley just keep playing with you pretending he wasn't currently yelling at her and calling her names no 6 year old should know.

Taking notice that his insults and words were making no visual affect on Riley, he did the one thing he really shouldn't have, he pulled her ponytail, Riley screamed and told him to "knock it off!!" but he just pulled harder, she was crying now and that's when you learned you would rather eat 1,000 pieces of broccoli than ever see Riley Matthews cry, it boiled your blood in ways you couldn't yet explain, and without even considering the consequences you tackled Tommy Flanagan to the ground and started _hittinghittinghitting_ him, soon the teacher pulled you off him but not before you broke his nose, that was the first time you ever got detention.

 

 

As you made you're way back to class you were surprised when Riley attacked you with a very tight hug,

  
"oh my goodness! Maya are you okay? Are you hurt? Did you get in trouble?"

  
She was talking a mile a minute which truth be told wasn't unusual for Riley but she sounded out of breath and so deeply concerned it confused you to no end, why would she be concerned about you? You thought she would be mad at you for hurting him or at least disappointed that you used violence instead of your words which she hates, but she just stared at you with slightly glassy eyes that were darting all over you searching for any signs of injury, she was still holding on to your hands abnormally tight as you tried to ease her worries.

  
"Riles, shush i'm fine, okay i'm perfectly fine i just got detention no big deal."

 

You said shrugging your shoulders to show how completely cool you were with that fact, as if you weren't currently freaking out about how you were going to it explain to your mom, who was already dealing with so much after your daddy left a few weeks ago for a business trip he hasn't come back from.

 

However your attempt to ease her worries only seemed to make it worse as her eyes widened like saucers and her voice raised a few octaves higher.

 

" YOU GOT DETENTION? OH MY GOODNESS MAYA IM SO SORRY"

She practically yells pulling you back in for a hug that was somehow tighter than the last, it made your stomach flutter and cheeks heat but you didn't know why.

 

"Oh, this is all my fault i shouldn't have let you tackle him, i should have just dealt with it myself, oh peaches i'm so sorry!"

She sounded like she was on the verge oh tears, how could she think this was her fault? Your the one who broke his nose she didn't do anything!

 

"Riles this isn't your fault, its mine i did this to myself don't blame yourself." She loosened her grip on you ever so slightly and maneuvered to look at you,

"peaches, why did you tackle Tommy?"

"because he was hurting you and id rather have detention everyday of my life than have anyone hurt you."

You said it like it was obvious, but something filled her eyes that you couldn't quite place, it looked almost like affection? Her eyes refilled with tears and this time they ran down her face.

 

"thank you, thank you, thank you, oh peaches that the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me, I love you."

You froze, unable to know what to do, your muscles tensed involuntary, did she just say what you think she just said?

 

 "You what?" You ask completely caught off guard your heart racing,

"I love you." She repeats a confused look on her face,

 

"y-You do?" You ask unable to process what she said.

"of course I do peaches you're my best friend." she said it like it was a fact of the universe, you were best friends and she loved you.

 

Your heart felt like it leapt straight out of you chest for reasons unknown, you had never had someone tell you they loved you besides your parents, and it felt so new and soft that you couldn't quite believe it.She looked at you expectingly but before you could say anything the teacher and Tommy stepped back in the room, she told everyone to sit back down and you've never been more grateful for class to continue.

You didn't know why it scared you so much to say 'I love you too' to Riley, you did love her you knew you did, then why couldn't you say it? Your mind kept traveling back to your dad and him telling you he loved you before he left, and how he hasn't come back. Maybe if you tell Riley you love her and get attached, she'll leave too.

 

But you'd never been so sure of something in your young life, you loved Riley Matthews. You just couldn't tell her.

 

~

 

"I love you too, peaches" she says, not even glancing up from her homework, to engrossed in the 'fascinating science' to really pay attention to you.

You've been doing homework for the past hour, or rather she's been doing homework and you've been watching the light move over her face as the sun goes down. 

This is when it gets harder to bite your tongue, when its 5:37 p.m and her hair's amber, her skins golden, and her nose is in the homework you don't understand. The sight reminds you of the that song you love

 

_" So this is where I leave you .. sitting in a palace covered in gold inside my head .. this is where I see you .. on a bed of roses when I want to kiss your silhouette"_

 

You started humming it absentmindedly, and your face was overtaken with a grin as you heard Riley start humming too, very low, you doubted she even knew she was doing it.

 

You watched the sight in front of you, she had her 'very serious concentrating' face on, a purple cat pencil in her mouth, humming to the song, and she was lightly swaying back and forth. The sight made your heart clench and twist, and you were overwhelmed with the urge to say it again, to say it a thousand times until you were sure she knew, and even just a couple more times to see how her face lights up.

 

But you refrained, you held your tongue, you've already said it four times today and soon she'll start to catch on and then what will you do? Tell her? No. It'll ruin everything, she'll hate you, she'll think your disgusting, and you can deal with a lot of shit in life but Riley Matthews hating you is not one of them. 

 

You look back to the homework you haven't even started and sigh.  You have to much on your mind to even think of school right now. You let your mind wander and you find yourself thinking about the first time you told her you loved her. 

 

 

~

 

 Its been 3 years since that fateful day in kindergarten when you got detention for the first time and Riley told you she loved you.

 Since then Riley tells you at least 3 times a day that she loves you, she never makes you say it back and you don't.

She pretends it doesn't hurt, but you can see it in her face the anticipation after she says it waiting, hoping you will say it back, and the way her eyes fall and sulk when you don't, she tries her best to keep the smile on her face but you can see right through it.

You wish more than anything you could tell her just how much you love her, but its now been 3 years since your dad left and went off and got a new family, and your pretty sure its your fault because, isn't everything? 

And Riley's too good, you already know you don't deserve her, you're just waiting for the day she realizes she can do so much better, but until then you need her with you for as long as you can have her, and you won't do anything to make her leave sooner. 

Its selfish, god its so selfish, not telling her, hurting her, so she doesn't hurt you, its wrong and mean and it kills you. But you can't lose her, not yet.

Riley is the sun, she makes your world turn, your plants grow and your life have light, and if she leaves then you will lose everything, your sun, your life, your world, your warmth, and your light.

 

 

But still no matter what,  with out fail Riley still manages to tell you she loves you everyday, and more likely than not multiple times a day, and you still stay quite.

 

But today is different, today is the sun's birthday and you couldn't buy her anything cause, your 8 and jobless, and your mom barely has enough money to keep the lights on and food on the table, you tried to tell your mom you would happily starve in complete darkness if it meant getting Riley the present she deserves, but your mom just laughed, ruffled your hair, and told you that Riley wouldn't want you to starve.

You figured she was probably right, but were still bummed,  you decided to paint Riley a picture because she always told you how much she loves your art, even though you don't know why your art isn't special, but Riley likes it and that's whats important.

The only problem is what do you paint the girl who looks like a painting herself? 

You try and paint something as beautiful as she is but its not possible, nothing is as pretty as her. You try to ignore how that sounds, because shes your best friend don't all best friends think each other are the most beautiful thing in the world? 

You brainstorm a lot of ideas and finally land with painting how she makes you feel, its cheesy but you know she'll love it.

 

You get to Riley's house at about 8 am, you weren't supposed to come till noon, but you couldn't wait any longer to see her. You drag your mom out of bed and have her drive you to Riley's. She drops you off outside her apartment building while she runs to get breakfast, you pretend to be going to the front doors till she drives away then you B-line to the back alley way. You climb up the oh so familiar fire escape that leads to the sleeping suns room and park yourself right outside her window.

You take a moment to calm yourself down, you don't know why you suddenly got so nervous, what if she doesn't want you to come early, what if she doesn't like your present, what if-   

Your inner tangent is cut off by the sound of her bed shifting, you see her turn slightly still asleep with a dopey smile on her face, you wonder must happen in her dreams that could make a smile that bright. Your heart flips upside down in your chest at the sight, and you can't help the smile that appears on your own face because of it.

You gently and quietly open her window; which she leaves unlocked just for you, and crawl inside trying not to make to much noise. You lay her now wrapped painting down on the bay window and make your way over to her bed, you climb under the covers on the opposite side of the bed, this would be consider weird and slightly creepy if this wasn't an almost daily occurrence.

You had both become very used to you climbing in through her window without warning and just falling asleep next to her, shes never minded though, in fact she always cuddles into you whenever she notices your there whether awake or asleep, this time was no different.

You had barely finished laying down before her small arms were wrapped around your torso, you smile to yourself at the immediate warmth that fills your heart at the touch. Your stomach feels like you ate butterflies for breakfast and you can't understand why.

You stay there for 20 minutes perfectly content to just lay next to your best friend all day, when she finally stirs awake, she looks at you with sleep worn eyes and hair covering most of her face, she smiles at you with that heart melting grin and you swear in that moment, she's a masterpiece painted by someone more talented than you will ever be.

"Morning peaches," she says in a whisper that probably wasn't intentional.

"Morning sunshine," she smiles at the nickname "hows my birthday girl?" you ask.

She buries her face into your shoulder, and your ignore how the butterflies act like their cage was just shaken, "tired." she replies, her voice muffled.

"Well we can stay here and sleep in for a few more hours if you want, orrrr we can wake up your parents force them to make us breakfast and get the best birthday in the history of the world started." She perked up shouted an over enthusiastic "okay!"  then jumped out of bed.

 

You smiled for the like hundredth time since you've been here, watching how jumpy and happy she was. She had already made her way out of her room by the time you managed to get out of her bed, you found her in the kitchen sitting jittery on our usual stool, Mr. and Mrs. Matthews were already making chocolate pancakes, looking entirely exhausted, but you could see how happy they became whenever they looked at Riley.

 

You all ate breakfast, and then went and got changed, you who had already been dressed upon arrival stayed in the living room waiting for Farkle and a few other friends from school to show up. Riley came down in a bright sparkly yellow dress, she looked even more like the sun than usual.

Farkle showed up about 20 minutes later, and your mom 10 minutes after that. At around 3 p.m everyone else showed up, and you had cake, which was decorated as a purple cat Riley's favourite animal, and then opened presents, well all except yours, you were waiting to give her yours till you were alone. You all played games until about 6 p.m when everyone had to leave, Farkle stayed for another hour until he too had to head home. 

However your mom had brought you clothes from home so you could stay the night because she had to work late, and also Riley begged her to the point of near tears until she gave in.

It was now 7 p.m and you and Riley had just made your way back to her room, you were sitting on the bay window discussing the events of the day, you were growing nervous over the anticipation of giving her your present. Finally after 20 minutes of chit-chat you pulled the wrapped painting out from behind one of the pillows on the bay window were you hid it this morning on your way to breakfast.

You announce that its finally time to open her present and she squeals, and grabs the present out of you hand before you can say anything. She opens it carefully like she always does, and she just stares at it, an unreadable expression on her face, the painting was of a field in the summertime, there were flowers of every colour, and grass swaying in the wind, bunnies running amust the field, and trees casting shadows all around, but the most important thing in the picture the center piece was, yes you guessed it, the sun, breathing life and warmth into everything else. You used practically every colour you had to make the painting and Riley's uncharacteristic silence was gnawing at your anxiety. 

"I'm sorry i couldn't buy you a present Riles, I tried to paint you something but its not very good im sorry" you look down at your shaking hands feeling like a failure for not being able to get her the present she deserves, your startled by her small and frail voice when she finally speaks up

"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen peaches." it couldn't have been more than a whisper,barely audible her voice was wet and her breathing uneven, and when you looked up you could see tears in her eyes threatening to fall at any moment, but she was smiling, she was happy, she liked it! 

She pulled you into the tightest hug imaginable, crushing your bones along the way but you didn't care, you would give anything to stay like this forever.

"Thank you so much Maya this is the best present I've ever gotten in my whole life" she said so truthfully you couldn't help but believe it, but then something happened something you didn't expect and didn't plan. You spoke before you had even realized you were thinking it.

"I love you Riles" it was said quickly and quietly, you'd hoped she hadn't heard you but from how close you are, that was nothing more than wishful thinking.

She gasped so loud you think she burst your eardrum, she pulled back, and when you finally came back from the shock you looked up to see her once teary eyes, now look more like waterfalls, the tears streaming down her face, but she was smiling the biggest and happiest smile you'd ever seen. 

"You love me?" she asked almost like she couldn't believe it, and it made the guilt fill your chest.

"Of course I love you honey, I always have it just took me a while to say it I'm sorry." You apologized.

"No don't you ever be sorry, not everyone is as comfortable with saying it."  she sounded almost mad that you would ever be sorry, and she pulled you back into another bone crushing hug, this time soaking the back of your shirt with her tears that were still falling.

"I take it back peaches, the painting wasn't the best present I've ever got, this is." You laughed, but the words made your heart swell two times its size.

"You still like the painting tho right?" you ask jokingly already knowing the answer, she pulled away and just looked at you, her tears had finally stopped, but her eyes were now puffy and red, and she was sniffling, but she was still the most beautiful thing in the world. She smiled her Riley smile.

"I love the painting peaches, it comes as a close second." she laughed too at that, and layed her head on your shoulder. 

 

You stayed like that for hours until her parents came to tell you all to go to sleep. When you got in her bed you resumed your cuddle position from the morning, and as she drifted off to sleep smiling like a loon, you quietly whispered, "I love you Riles," "I love you too Maya." You fell asleep soon after, and for the first time since your dad left, slept soundly with a smile on your face.

 

 

~

 

Your face lite up at the memory and you glanced over to the wall to your right, to look at the painting hanging in its frame.

 

Mrs. Matthews called up for dinner, but the sun was too engrossed in her homework to hear. You closed your untouched books, and slid off the bay window and crawled your way towards her. She didn't even hear you so when you spoke into her ear she jumped a little. 

"Hey Riles, dinners ready." she looked at you and smiled, finally closed her books and stood up, she held out her hand to help you up. which you happily took, and the two of you walked to her kitchen together, still hand in hand.

You loved Riley Matthews. You'd never been more sure of anything in your whole life.

You just wished she loved you in the same way.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> okay so that was that. This fic was kind of all over the place but If you liked it leave a kudos and a comment because i survive off validation, i might possibly consider making this a chapter fic if enough people want but for now this is a one-shot.  
> My tumblr is @hartthews-rilaya and you can follow me there if you want. I’m reposting this 2 years later to try and motivate myself to finally post the second chapter that’s been sitting in my computer for two years.


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